Off Topic *addiction warning* Why you smokin' for?
Why you smokin’ for?
So guys, as we close another year, introspection usually reaches an annual high (no pun intended). As I’m sat here listening to the obnoxious hum of my 4” inline whirling away, still feeling some slight effects of last nights session with some outstanding Purple Octane, I cant help but notice a familiar and yet foreign feeling. Something I don’t usually have the pleasure to feel. I feel anxiously hopeful for 2023 and what the world has in mind for our good pal, Cannabis.
Now I don’t want to get all soppy and bring a cloud over this thread since overall this is my thank you to the plant we all love, but, some context is needed after all otherwise im just another knuckle head shouting about “plants maaan” so ill make this next part as quick as I can but still paint a good picture.
Growing up I was always different to others that were the same or close to the same age as myself, and I knew it. I could never understand why a lot of the things that happened in my life, even happened in the first place. School and my early years were turbulent, scarring and confusing. I never was able to “find my people” as everyone says. I have different interests, thought patterns, just a lot is different. So naturally, I’ve always relied on behaviours, habits and other things to feel like I belonged.
Some of my earliest memories of doing shit like that was huffing markers out the primary school art supplies. Yeah primary school, I was 7. Or the time I found out petrol fumes made you feel “floaty” after a spill at a petrol station. It’s always been a journey to feel different than I do usually.
September 1st 2018 was unfortunately the day where a lot of the things from my child hood and adolescent years whipped back and put me on my arse. Figuratively and literally. The 15-18 months prior to that date was just one big build up of hard drug addiction, alcohol dependence, frivolous fornicating and fighting. All while painting a fresh mask on each day to work 16 hours to keep the fun train chugging. In short, mania is a bitch and when she leaves, you end up in A&E with every centimetre of your body hurting, thinking you have rheumatoid arthritis instead of crippling depression. Didn’t know that at this time though, that came much later on and its a whole other tale that makes me rant at Macky levels about the NHS and their treatment of the mentally ill.
6 months later I was still struggling, despite taking the medication from the doctors nothing was changing at all. Then, an old friend came to visit after hearing what had happened. Now, in the past I had tried cannabis when I was 15 and smoked it a handful of times afterwards when I was 16 and I thought it was alright, but 2010 – 2011 weed looked like dying dandelions in my area. it had been 8 years since id seen a spliff and after everything recently, my opinions on drugs was more draconian than the UK laws we have now. I caved after 5 minutes though, and I am SO glad that I did.
The bright lights around me dimmed and I could see, the 80 lanes of merging traffic in my brain stopped and passed by one at a time, I ate an apple and I didn’t throw up, I undercooked some fried chicken and didn’t take off on a war path to punch someone's lips in. The winds stopped, the trees settled and I could sit and process my own presence. One was shooketh to his core. Why don’t the doctors tablets do this? Why do I need to take them for four weeks at least to see if they’ll suit me? Why can’t I just use this little bit of a plant? These were all the questions that flooded my brain. I was hooked and not in a dopamine chasing non functioning stoner sense. I was hooked by curiosity, excitement and wonderment at the fact that a plant could do this.
This lead me on a path of first finding the most reliable, consistent supply I could from someone. Found him, quality dropped and prices still stayed the same or went up…. We all know this recurring pattern. It’s annoying and being someone that uses cannabis as a means to control, impulse, moods and sleep means that any run of the mill pond weed isn’t going to cut it. I don’t just need the THC. I need the whole kitchen sink or as close to it as possible. I was starting to get real tired of finding new people to buy from and still receiving medicine from the bottom of the barrel.
There was one particular bag I picked up and every bud was seeded up to the eyeballs. I was fully prepared to just walk away from cannabis and deal with things how I had previously, but something just kept telling me to think of another way. Randomly I took one bag seed and chucked it into a plastic pot outside, I had no a+b, PK, dry feed, nothing at all. I made the pot up with cheap half used compost, ash from the garden fire pit and just left it outside. It germinated, vegged, flowered and pulled a whopping 1 gram…. Of smokable bud anyway. Okay, it grows with nothing. Interesting.
The fuse was lit, time for Beakerbongs to do what he does best and hyperfocus until we fall over exhausted. So that’s what I did. I started with simply “how to grow cannabis at home”. Some light reading on websites like reddit, rollitup and grow diaries and I was no further forward. Everyones using bottles and pipettes, meters and pumps. Stumped I was. So I searched “Grow weed with no bottle nutrients”. This is where I found Mr. Cannucks Grow and eventually Percy’s through the HOHG podcast.
The more I listened, read and learnt about the different types of the plant, the different type of each strain and just growing in general, the more excited I got about cannabis as a whole, and the more confident I was that I wanted to provide myself the medicine that benefits me the most. Which led me to my outdoor summer grow with the OG kush Autos.
I found as I was going through that run, it wasn't just using the plant which provided benefits to me. Seeing how the plant grew and responded to its environment captivated me. How from one day to the next something was different. Hour by hour in some cases. Even just being with the plants helps me on some deep internal level, I could wake up and be struggling to gain traction all morning and a quick half hour with the girls just set me right and it’s that same sense of calm I get from smoking.
I feel I owe so much to this plant in more ways than one. It brought me back from the edge of chaos and since then its continued to teach me ways to control the internal berserker that I call my collection of disorders. From smoking and using cannabis, I’ve found that my peace comes from a harmony between the in and outdoors. My peace comes from the lost connection we have with the ground beneath our feet. My peace, comes from Cannabis. And legal or not, no one has the right to take our peace.
Happy new year Percy’s.
@toploader thanks mate. Feels great to have a place to share things like that with people who appreciate the plant in the same ways.
I've always felt that the healing properties of this plant surpass its chemical makeup. Growing even one plant at a time grounds me and brings me a calm I'll never be able to describe
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