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Suggestion Give us your best jokes please

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Chillbert
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So just chucking this out there.. 

as in true stoner style, I sometimes have trouble in remembering some things, sometimes...

I seem to have trouble when asked ‘tell us a joke?’ as I can only seem to remember shit jokes when asked this, yet I’ve heard plenty of good jokes!  Why is this? ?

anyway, if there isn’t a thread already for our best jokes, maybe we could share a few here, then when I need one I can get some good ones here ! 

ok I would start but I can’t think of any good ones atm 😂😂😂😂

please help!

Time to pop some more beans 😗

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Topic starter Posted : March 20, 2021 1:28 pm
Hart, Zombie Nation, twisted1 and 5 people liked
Chillbert
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Ps extra kudos for Canna-culture jokes 👍

Time to pop some more beans 😗

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Topic starter Posted : March 20, 2021 1:31 pm
Hart, Zombie Nation, twisted1 and 5 people liked
WoodI2
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Why is a giraffe's neck so long??????? Nerd Amazed Sad Formal Smile Scared Gape Sweaty Nonoise Razz Pray Displeased Because they're heads are so High!

There you go @Chillbert, let's see somebody top that one. Ha

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Posted : March 21, 2021 3:14 am
Doctor X, Hart, Zombie Nation and 6 people liked
Stootie
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What's E.T short for? .................  Because he has little legs

What's red and invisible?  .............No Tomatoes

Did you hear about the deformed dwarf?  ............. He was 6ft 10"

Whats small, pink, wrinkled and hangs out of grandad's drawers? .................... Granny

Whats green and eats nuts?  ...................... Syphilis

In the corridors of power where the talks are in full swing
If you can't say it with flowers Then don't say anything

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Posted : March 21, 2021 6:49 am
WoodI2, Doctor X, Hart and 7 people liked
SuperC
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Once I got off the plane in London, non-stop from Chicago O'hare, I couldn't wait to eat some good food.  I wanted a real English Cheeseburger.  I just wanted to find a pub with a grill so I can order that cheeseburger that has been on my mind all afternoon.  When I smelled the food coming from the grill in that pub my stomach grumbled to let me know that this was the place.  That is when I noticed someone have TWO patties on his cheeseburger with the top bun removed showing all his toppings.  I knew that's what I had to order.  I had to have a double like that!  But when my order came to my table, it wasn't the "Pint and the Double Decker" that I ordered.  All I got was a beer and directions to the bus station.

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Posted : March 21, 2021 7:16 am
Woolie, WoodI2, Doctor X and 6 people liked
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Where do nuns go on holiday ?? 

              Norfolk (no fuck) ! Boom boom

Suckin on Diesel

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Posted : March 21, 2021 7:47 am
WoodI2, Doctor X, Hart and 5 people liked
SuperC
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Attention Cafe Racers: "Watch out for Sundae Drivers."

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Posted : March 21, 2021 7:09 pm
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Macky
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Posted by: @superc

Attention Cafe Racers: "Watch out for Sundae Drivers."

If knew it was gonna be this bad I wouldn't have given you the link 😉 lol 

Join us live every Sunday for High on Home Grown!

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Posted : March 21, 2021 7:12 pm
Woolie, WoodI2, Doctor X and 6 people liked
Zombie Nation
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A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around.

„What on earth are you doing?!“ asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit.“

 

 

This morning saw what will probably become the worst air disaster in the Midwest.

An ultralight single-seater plane crashed into a cemetery in Stockholm, Wisconsin.

So far, the search and rescue teams have recovered 1736 bodies and as the digging continues into the night, we can only expect that number to climb

 

 

A woman comes to a cashier in a supermarket and puts up a frozen pizza, one can of coke and one Snickers bar.
-
The cashier comments, “Oh, looks like you’re single.”
-
The woman replies, “Um, wow, yes. How did you guess?”
-
The cashier answers, “Because you’re ugly.”

 

 

A guy goes to the doctor, “Please help me. I’m constantly coughing and out of breath and it’s getting worse.”

The doctor asks, “Do you smoke weed?”

“Yes, but it’s not helping at all!”

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Posted : March 21, 2021 7:26 pm
Woolie, WoodI2, Doctor X and 6 people liked
Matthew Elton
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What is a stoners favorite computer software?

 

 

 

 

Adoobe...😁

Prior Planning And Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance
Well, we'll just see about that...😁

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Posted : March 21, 2021 8:39 pm
Zombie Nation, monkeydo, Woolie and 5 people liked
Stootie
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Whats the difference between a fridge and a fanny?

 

 

 

A fridge doesnt fart when you take meat out of it

In the corridors of power where the talks are in full swing
If you can't say it with flowers Then don't say anything

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Posted : March 25, 2021 5:47 pm
Doctor X, Matthew Elton, Hart and 5 people liked
JSH1973
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Posted by: @stootie

Whats the difference between a fridge and a fanny?

 

 

 

A fridge doesnt fart when you take meat out of it

But they can both grow fungus... 🤣 

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Posted : March 25, 2021 5:49 pm
Doctor X, Matthew Elton, Hart and 5 people liked
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@jsh1973 hahaha very true, If the meat comes out rotten its certainly time to get a newer model LoL

In the corridors of power where the talks are in full swing
If you can't say it with flowers Then don't say anything

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Posted : March 25, 2021 6:51 pm
Doctor X, Matthew Elton, Hart and 4 people liked
Woolie
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What happens if you just eat weed ? 

                You get a pot belly !!

      

Suckin on Diesel

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Posted : March 26, 2021 7:16 pm
Doctor X, Matthew Elton, Hart and 4 people liked
Doctor X
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A guy goes to the doctor and tells him, “Everytime I sneeze I ejaculate.”

The doctor asks, “What have you been taking for it?

The guy replies, "Pepper"

I'm not smoking any more..... but I ain't smokin' any less

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Posted : March 27, 2021 3:05 am
Matthew Elton, Hart, Zombie Nation and 4 people liked
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